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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

LOST thoughts

In light of tonight's episode, Across the Sea, being one of the all-time great episodes in LOST history, I decided to compile a list of the 15 best episodes since LOST kicked off 6 years ago. My first crack at this list consisted of almost entirely finales and premieres, so I've omitted those. Here's the list:

15. Cabin Fever
Starring: Locke

Why it was great: When it first aired this had potential to be one of the most important episodes ever, with all the reveals of Locke's destiny before he was even on the island. Now we know that all of that was just Richard being misinformed. (But then how did kid Locke draw that picture of the black smoke, huh writers?) On the island Locke meets Christian Shepherd (aka the monster) who is with Claire, in the cabin, and is told some pretty alarming news. "He wants us to move the island."

14. Ab Aeterno
Starring: Richard

Why it was great: This was the only non-finale, non-premiere that showed much about the pasts of Jacob and the MIB (until tonight), and also revealed everything we wanted to know about Richard's ageless past as well as the story of the Black Rock. And the key to the entire show - the island is a cork - was revealed as well. "You have to stop him from leaving the island. Cuz if you don't... todos nos vamos al infierno. We all go to hell."

13. Jughead
Starring: Desmond

Why it was great: Because the Losties started to piece together the time-flashes thanks to the brilliant Faraday, and because of the very cool conversation between Locke and 1950s Richard, and the reveal of young Widmore and young Eloise. And of course, because of Desmond, who is just awesome. "50 years from now, this island is still here..."

12. One of Them
Starring: Sayid

Why it was great: Classic Sayid at his best, torturing Ben Linus (Henry Gale?) and demanding answers: Is Henry an Other? Is he telling the truth What is going on?!? At then near the end, when Sayid, fully convinced that Ben is an Other, cannot convince Jack that Ben is an Other, Ben flashes the most devious smile at Sayid and creeps us out like no other. "How many shovels full of dirt! You would remember!"

11. Deus Ex Machina
Starring: Locke

Why it was great: To be honest, this episode would be a whole lot more popular if the title was in English. Maybe it should have been called 'Man of Faith' or The Beachcraft' or something. Locke is visited by a creepy bloody-Boone in a dream, they discover the Nigerian plane, Boone makes the discovery that there are Tail section survivors via the radio, Boone falls and ultimatly dies, and then at the end, one of the best moments in LOST ever: Locke bangs on the hatch door, yelling "Why did you do this to me!" when suddenly the hatch light goes on. "Teresa falls up the stairs ... Teresa falls down the stairs."

10. The Other 48 Days
Starring: The Tail Section

Why it was great: Well, in retrospect, it wasn't all that important; most of the Tailies died pretty quickly. But this episode revealed so much about the Others, about Goodwin and Ana Lucia and the tumultous journey of the tail-survivors, and culminated in the first death of a major character when Shannon was shot. "Nathan was not a good person. That's why he wasn't on the list"

9. LaFleur
Starring: Sawyer

Why it was great: At first watch this episode was just okay; but the more you think about it, the more vital it becomes to the scope of LOST that the gang joined up with Dharma in 1974 and how those events unfolded. We see the four-toed statue in this episode for the first time, we find out that Sawyer and Juliet are together, and then Sawyer meets up with his 3 friends - Jack, Hurley and Kate - after 3 long years without them. "It's 1977." "Uhhh ... what?"

8. The Man Behind the Curtain
Starring: Ben

Why it was great: Honestly this list could just be a list of all the Ben-centric episodes. Everytime he is the focus the episode is amazing. This episode was positively full of amazing reveals: Richard is ageless, Ben murdered the entire Dharma Initiative, Jacob lives in a cabin and may or may not actually be real ("Help Me..." and then at the end, Ben shoots John Locke in the kidney and nearly kills him. "I certainly hope he helps you, John."

7. Numbers
Starring: Hurley

Why it was great: Because it took the show 18 episodes to finally have a Hugo-centric episode, and they didn't dissappoint by revealing that he won the lottery using cursed numbers and is worth $156 million. "I am not ... crazy!'"

6. The Brig
Starring: Sawyer

Why it was great: Because of pure emotional power and the best acting performance EVER. Sawyer comes face to face with the man he has chased and hated for his entire life, and kills him in a gut-wrenching, tear-jerking scene that no LOST fan can forget. "You wanna go to hell? You wanna go to hell!!" This is the episode that made everyone love Sawyer.

5. Raised By Another
Starring: Claire

Why it was great: This episode was great for two reasons, neither of which has to do with Claire. Firstly, on the island this was when we learned that the Others were definitely real, and not to be messed with. And secondly, off the island was the flashback where we learn that Aaron will be 'surrounded by danger' if he is raised by another, which of course he was. I'm betting that in the finales of finales we'll be reminded of this episode. "One of them isn't in the manifest. He wasn't on the plane."

4. Orientation
Starring: Locke

Why it was great: John Locke, the man of faith, began pushing the button and saving the world, while Desmond ran around frantically, Jack pouted, and Jin yelled "Others! Others!" This episode was the center of the Jack - Locke rivalry. Also, the Dharma initiative was introduced. "See you in another life, yeah?"

3. The Shape of Things to Come
Starring: Ben

Why it was great: Because it stars the always amazing Ben Linus! We find out where Ben went after he turned the wheel - to Tunisia - and we see him kick some serious butt. On the island, Keamy kills Alex in one of the most dramatic scenes ever, and Ben enters the secret room and unleashes the monster. Meanwhile the beach folks find the dead doctor ... who hasn't died yet. And then in the flash-forward, Ben and Widmore face off in an epic, awesome scene. "I'm going to kill your daughter. Penelope, is it?"

2. Walkabout
Starring: Locke

Why it was great: This is widely considered the best episode in LOST, and certainly one of the main reasons the show took off. The character development of John Locke was done perfectly, and the stunning reveal - Locke is paralyzed! - was just perfect. Terry O'Quinn won an Emmy and it was because of this episode. "Don't tell me what I can't do!"

1. The Constant
Starring: Desmond

Why it was great: Aside from introducing the element of time-travel in a unique and mind-bending way, this episode featured two of everyone's favorite characters - Desmond and Faraday - in a dramatic race against time while Desmond was fighting for his life ... all while incorporating the best love story in LOST and the single best moment in the show. I can't decide whether to say "I love you Penny!"or "I'm callin' my bloody constant."














And just for the heck of it, here's are the ten worst episodes in LOST history ...

10. What Kate Does
Starring: Kate

Why it sucked: Because Kate escaped from an armed US Marshall using just a pen, because she hi-jacked a taxi and then became best friends with the girl in the taxi, and because everyone hates the flash-sideways and just wants to see what's happening in the real timeline.

9. Expose
Starring: Nikki and Paulo

Why it sucked: I didn't hate this episode as much as most people, although it was a complete waste of time, it was at least entertaining. But I sure am glad they killed N & P off as soon as they did.

8. The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham
Starring: Locke

Why it sucked: This is only on the list of worst episodes because it failed miserably to live up to massive expectations. I was anticipating a mega-shocker episode from start to finish, and got a very boring and depressing blah.

7. S.O.S.
Starring: Rose and Bernard

Why it sucked: Because it was an entire episode about Rose and Bernard.

6. Ji Yeon
Starring: Sun and Jin

Why it sucked: Because it deliberately decieved the audience for 55 minutes by making us think Sun and Jin were both in the Oceanic 6, and then revealed that Jin was actually dead. (Except he wasn't even really dead.)

5. Par Avion
Starring: Claire

Why it sucked: Because the plot was basically -Claire tries to use some birds to get everyone rescued, and it doesn't work. Also Claire can't act her way out of a paper bag, whatever that means.

4. The Other Woman
Starring: Juliet
Why it sucked: For a lot of reasons. Because we all hated Juliet at this point. Because this episode came directly after the Constant so it didn't have a chance in the first place. Because it was all about how Ben was obsessed with Juliet, which was never brought up again. Because nobody cared about Juliet's affair with Goodwin. And because of the intentional misleading and completely worthlessness of Faraday and Charlotte rendering the poisin gas inert. Just a big fat waste of time.

3. Eggtown
Starring: Kate

Why it sucked: This was the episode where every LOST fan collectively said, "Okay, that's enough Kate, I'm ready for Kate to die, I hate her, she sucks." She ran from Jack to Sawyer and back again all in 60 minutes and acted like a snob to everyone and wasn't convicted of murder even though everyone knew she was guilty just because her mom got to see her grandson and then forgave her. I didn't realize that forgiveness made people exempt from murder.
2. Adrift
Starring: Michael

Why it sucked: Three words: WAAAALLLLTTT!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAALTTT!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Stranger in a Strange Land
Starring: Jack

Why it sucked: Because this episode served one purpose and one purpose only - to tell us the translation of Jack's tattoos. "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us."
JACK: That's what they say. It's not what they mean.
Uh huh. Great. Thanks Jack.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

the candidate

It's a sad week for LOST fans everywhere. I've been too sad to think about LOST. Tuesday night I'm not ashamed to say there were tears in my eyes, and I'm pretty sure Crazy Keith cried a little too.

Sayid, Sun, and Jin. All dead.

Oh yeah, and Lapidus.

They're all just sitting there, dead, at the botom of the ocean in a freaking submarine. All because of the stupid smoke monster.

This episode, which I would be remiss if I didn't say was definitely one of the best LOST episodes of season 6 and possibly of all time, definitely focused on the evilness of 'Flocke' and his unbelievable badness. I think his place is being set among the greatest villians in entertainment history. He's no longer just a cute cloud of smoke. He's evil incarnate, he's a soulless mass murderer, he's the ultimate schemer, the most devious manipulative SOB imagainable. He makes Ben Linus look like a little kid burning ants with a magnifying glass.

This episode was one that I don't think I'll ever want to watch again, even someday 20 years from now when LOST is a distant memory and I re-watch all the seasons. I think I'll skip over 'The Candidate' because I don't think I could bear to ever watch Sun and Jin ... I can't even talk about it ...

The thing is, Jin could have got away! Easily! He could have swam away, and been safe, and someday met his daughter! He could have been a dad and lived in Korea and made a new life for himself. But he didn't want to live without Sun. The thought of escaping the sub never even crossed his mind. He would rather stay with her, for those last few dying moments, those crushing, brutal moments, than be without her ever again. I'm getting teary-eyed again just thinking about it ...

When Flocke was standing on the dock with his idiot sidekick Claire, and he said "Not all of them are dead," I don't know about you, but I was pissed.

Killing Sun and Jin and leaving a 3-year old girl parentless wasn't enough? Killing Sayid and poor innocent stupid Frank wasn't enough? Doesn't he know that these people have families? I am really starting to hate the man in black.

I should have known that Sun and Jin were doomed early in the episode, when Jin said "...So Ji Yeon is with your mom?" and Sun was like "Yeah, she's straight" and then they confessed their love for each other and basically made themselves expendable by tying all loose ends and giving their story a nice clean ending. They finally got to be together, after 3 years of searching. And 24 hours later they were locked in cages, and then drowned in a submarine.

But at least they were together.

At least they died together...

The best part of the episode was ... well, there were a LOT of best parts. But I was going to say the best part was when Jack figured out the essence behind 'the rules.' When Jack basically became the hero and the protaganist we always hoped he would become. Jack is finally awesome!

He figured it all out, and now he's ready to take his place as the New Jacob. Too bad the usually reliable Sawyer messed everything up. This episode marks the first time in LOST history that Sawyer, the ultimate con man, was conned. And he was conned big time by Flocke.

Can we just talk about Sayid for a second? How cool was it that somewhere behind the zombie eyes Sayid was still Sayid. The Man in the Black Tank Top, the man who's spent his entire adult life trying to atone for the evils of his past, sacrificed himself in the most poetic and noble way, to save not only his friends, but to save, essentially, the world. Because if all the candidates die, Flocke leaves the island, and all Hell breaks lose. Literally. Sayid, the character we've come to know and love for six seasons, the character who struggled more than any other with his own personal demons and his desire to be a "good person," made the ultimate sacrifice. Awesome.

His last words: "It's going to be you Jack."

I can picture a LOST ending in which Jack and Flocke are the only two people left on the island, the new Jacob and the new Monster, and they live together, peacefully hating each other but unable to kill each other. Years and years go by, and eventually a new plane crashes. Maybe Aaron or Ji Yeon is on the plane. Something like that.

On a sidenote, I talk a lot about how stupid and utterly worthless Claire is. If you don't believe me, look at this hideously retarded picture. But anyway, I keep wondering why Flocke keeps her around, why he doesn't kill her. Why did he recruit her in the first place 3 years ago? And I keep coming back to my original thought ... the Smoke Monster is Aaron. Making Claire Flocke's mom. I'm just waiting for the tense moment when Claire confronts the monster and says "what are you?" and he responds with a wry smile "I'm your son." That would blow some minds.











An unsolved mystery that lingers and lingers is the question: WHO the HECK was shooting at Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and the gang last season, in the canoe, during the time flashes? We still don't know. Every episode I think they'll answer that question, and still not. I wonder if the writers forgot about that? Or if it will be Ben, Richard and Miles paddling from the main Island to Hydra island in the next week or two? We'll see. I wonder if Miles will figure out that he's shooting at himself?

So now that Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Hugo are on the island, their next step is to head towards the well, where Sayid told Jack to go and find Desmond. We're still unsure of Desmond's role, but I'm sure it'll be awesome, and have something to do with Timeline B.

Shoot, I haven't even touched on Timeline B yet.

Briefly, here's what happens: Jack saves Locke from the accident, wants to try a new type of spine treatment on him, tells him he's a candidate, locke mutters "don't push the button" while he's sleeping, helen is all protective, Jack goes to visit Bernard the dentist who acts like a freaking lunatic, jack sees claire who has a music box and still sucks at acting, anthony cooper is in a coma because locke doesn't know how to fly a plane, locke feels guilty, and then jack says "i wish you'd believed me" which is what locke writes on his suicide note to jack in the original timeline, and it seems like locke had a "wake-up" moment, but not quite. oh and jin brought flowers to sun, so presumably they have a baby in timeline B, which makes me a little bit want timeline B to be the real reality.

How does Timeline B tie in to the end game? What's the point of it? Are the remaining 3 candidates going to have to make a choice about which reality is the real reality? What is Desmond's role?

I think Flocke will be tied in here somehow. When he says to Claire "I'm going to go finish what I started," that doesn't mean 'I'm gonna go kill some Candidates.' He's not allowed. So what does he have now? Could it be that he's the one who offers them a deal with the devil, a chance to choose a new reality?

I don't know ...

There's just so much going on, and so little time to write about it all. I want to get this post up before the weekend, so I'm just gonna wrap it up quick. Next week Tuesday has the potential to be the single greatest LOST episode ever. It's called 'Across the Sea,' and I'm about 99% sure that it's a Jacob/MIB flashback based on the preview. It should be absolutely packed full of answers. The rules, the island, the history of the monster, why can't people be born on the island, why does the island heal, who are Adam and Eve, who built the frozen wheel, what's the deal with the time-travel, etc.

I think it would be really cool if the episode showed Jacob and MIB's interaction with the Losties beginning with the crash. For example, why did the smoke monster kill the pilot in episode 1, but then chase Jack and Kate but not kill them? Was it because they were candidates? Why did he toy around with Eko before killing him? Did Eko start as a candidate but lose his candidate-ness when he refused to ask for forgiveness? What was up with the cabin? How long was the monster using John Locke to set him up? How long was he using Ben? Was he using all of the Losties for his ultimate purpose of killing all the candidates? Just how devious of a mastermind is he?

The episode after 'Across the sea,' is called "What they died for." I think that could be an episode about timeline B, and it could have something to do with "choose this other reality and their deaths won't have been for nothing." or something.

After that, is the finale.

Currently, only 6 survivors of the original plane crash are still alive: Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley. And ... Walt and Aaron. Could one or both of them make returns to the island in the finale? How cool would that be?

Desmond still has a major roles to play ... Widmore and Miles are as good as dead. Not sure about Richard or Ben. There are not a whole heck of a lot of characters still alive in LOST.

Oh by the way, I forgot to mention, Kate was wounded in the gun fight. Kate is so dumb that I totally forgot she was shot. She'll be fine, she never dies. Or maybe she'll die from the gunshot and she'll be Eve. In that case, Sawyer will be Adam, cuz I got a feeling that Jack is not dying. But I still think that Bernie and Rose died in 1970whatever and they're A & E.

That's all I got for now. R.I.P. Sayid and Kwons. You will be missed.

Friday, April 30, 2010

NBA Playoff Predictions

I probably should have picked the first round of the NBA playoffs, but I didn't. If I had, here's what I would have said:

CLE over CHI in 4
BOS over MIA in 7
ORL over CHA in 6
ATL over MIL in 5

LA over OKC in 5
DAL over SA in 7
UTH over DEN in 7
PHO over POR in 6

With 3 series (is the plural of series just series?) yet to be decided, I will have either gotten 1 series wrong, or 4. I whiffed on the Mavericks; should have known not to pick against Tim Duncan in the first round.

As it looks now, the Lakers are going to close out the Thunder (which makes me sad, though not surprised) and the Jazz are going to take out Chauncey's Nuggets. The Bucks-Hawks series could still go either way. I still give the Hawks about a 45% chance despite being down 2-3.

Technically I can't make round two predictions until round one officially ends, but it's almost over, and I won't be able to write anything over the weekend, so here goes...

CLE over BOS in 5.

A lot of buzz on the radio and online about the Celtics having a chance against Cleveland. I listened to Colin Cowherd's half-assed rationale for why the Celts will beat the Cavs for an hour today on the radio. To put it briefly, because while the Cavs have the best player in the series, the Celtics have the next 4 best players. There is some validity and good logic to this argument. Also, Boston has more experience.

But the thing is, LeBron isn't just the best player in this series, like Dirk was in the DAL-SA series or Roy was in the PHO-POR series. LeBron is the best player in the world, and nobody can come close to disputing that point right now. What's more, the Celtics don't have a defensive stopper to guard LeBron. They don't have a Bowen or Artest or even a Tayshaun. Their two defensive aces, Rondo and Garnett, would be way out of position against LBJ. No one can stop LeBron, but a guy like Artest can at least slow him down.

Nothing will matter in this series except how badly LeBron wants to go to the NBA Finals, and I think he wants it more than the entire Celtics team combined. Are Mo Williams and Antwan Jamison great sidekicks? Nah. But Varejo and Hickson and West are perfect role players and everyone rallies around LeBron perfectly like a bunch of dorky bench players hanging around the star quarterback in high school. Popularity by association. He's like the cool upperclassmen and they have no self-respect when it comes to gazing at him adoringly during time-outs. Cleveland has the best chemistry in the NBA, because nobody is close to challenging LeBron for alpha dog status, and they all look up to him like a big cool steroid-infested brother.

In mostly every other team, there's a numbskull (usually off the bench) who thinks he's better than he really is, and consequently becomes selfish at the wrong times and gets the team into trouble. The Mavs have a couple - Butler & Terry. The Hawks have at least 3 - Crawford, Evans, and sometimes Josh Smith. The Celtics have a couple too - Rasheed (the KING of numbskulls) and Nate Robinson. The Lakers are pretty neatly trimmed, but they have Artest, a numbskull with a side of psychopathia.

Cleveland is the only contender with no trace of numbskulls. Even Shaq, a numbskull a few years ago, has bought into the "LBJ is King" mantra and humbly accepted his role as a peasant. It's amazing to watch.

My theory, which shall henceforth be known as The Numbskull Theory, contends that the team with less numbskulls will usually win an NBA playoff series, unless there are extenuating circumstances.

Hey, I love Rondo more than just about anybody, and I think Pierce and Allen are still great players. They'll probably be competitive in just about every game against Cleveland. But Garnett is a shell of his former self and highly unathletic right now, and Rasheed is quite honestly the biggest liability in the NBA. You can't afford tantrums and technicals in the playoffs against LeBron. You just can't.

Cleveland is going to win this series, and it's going to be easier than most people realize. CLE in 5.

ORL over MIL in 5, or ORL over ATL in 7

If Atlanta comes back to beat the Bucks and advance, they'll regain some of their swagger and confidence, and push the Magic to 7. If Milwaukee moves on, I'll root for them like crazy (they're my new favorite Eastern Conference team), but the lack of Bogut in the middle will be absolutely devestating against Dwight Howard.

Kurt Thomas, the Buck's new starting center, is 3 inches and 30 pounds smaller than Howard, but that's the least of the Bucks' problems. He's also 13 years older. It could be very, very ugly if the Bucks advance, and Howard could average 30 and 20 to go with his 5 fouls and 7-20 free throw shooting each night.

Seriously, Orlando is the only team in the East with a shot to keep Cleveland from the Finals, and they have been all season. They've got the depth, and the outside shooting, and certainly the superstar in the middle. But, just like the CLE-BOS series, Cleveland-Orlando will be dictated by whether or not LeBron decides to dominate. And he will.

CLE over ORL in 5

You think LeBron won't remember losing to the Magic in last year's ECFs? You think he wants his legacy to be "that guy who couldn't make it past the Magic?" No way, he's gonna put on an absolute show in these playoffs, averaging a 35-10-8, and it just really makes me wish I liked him. Even a little bit. But I don't.

LA over UTH in 7

It'll take the Lakers 14 games to advance to the WCFs, and that's gonna be important ...
Against Utah, the Lakers will look outmatched and slow and very vulnerable, but ultimately Kobe and home-court advantage will make the difference. That, and the refs.

SA over PHO in 6

Polarizing styles, two of the decade's most successful superstars, and both teams have a "this is our last chance" feel. Going to be a great series.

San Antonio must slow down Phoenix to have a chance, and they've got to continue to get production from George Hill, who has emerged to say the least. Phoenix has to get some focus and some rebounds from Amare Stoudemire, who doesn't like tough matchups against guys like Tim Duncan. They've also got to keep making their outside shots.

Ultimately this series comes down to the Numbskull Effect. San Antonio is pretty clean, though Richard Jefferson isn't the smartest fella. But Roger Mason, DeJuan Blair and MiggidyMcDyess are great role players who know their roles. Phoenix has a potential numbskull in Jason Richardson (heightened by the fact that he's coming off a great series and might think he's all of a sudden turned into Larry Bird), no to mention that their second best player (Amare) sometimes struggles from Numbskullitous.

I'll take the Spurs here in 6. And that gives us a classic Western Conference match-up ...

LA over SA in 7

Both teams are frankly happy to have made it this far, but someone's got to to advance to the Finals. The Spurs old legs are weary and Tim Duncan is falling asleep in huddles, while Kobe's injuries keep piling up and Artest has locked Odom in a closet somewhere. This is gonna be a fun but exhausting series to watch. Throw in the two best coaches in the NBA and some superior strategizing, and shoot.

Again, I'll take the Lakers because of home-court and Kobe.

CLE over LA in 4

Yeah, I'm predicting an NBA Finals sweep, that's right.

Why? Because it's gonna take the Lakers 21 games to make the Finals, and Cleveland just 15. Because LeBron will be well-rested and on top of his physical game. Because the Cavs' size will be put to excellent use against Gasol and Bynum. Because LeBron is on performance-enhancing drugs. Because Kobe will be less hungry after winning it all last year. And because once the Lakers fall in a 3-0 hole after game 3, they'll implode and lose game 4 by at least 20 points.

The only unfortunate thing about this scenario ... well, one of the many unfortunate things ... is that if LeBron wins a title in Cleveland, he may be tempted to stay there. And that's bad for entertainment purposes, plus bad for the Pistons. It would take a real douchy douche to win a title, the first for the city of Cleveland in 55 years, and then leave town anyway. But let's not sell LeBron short of that just yet.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Tigers Season, So Far

Because there's a Tigers game just about every day, it's tough to write anything about them. Everything changes so fast ... Just as I was about to say that Verlander has been terrible, he pitches into the ninth inning and allows just one hit against a good Angels line-up. Just as I was about to lament the fact that Austin Jackson was leading the MLB in strike-outs, he goes off for 16 hits in 6 games and now leads the MLB in batting average as well as hits. Did I mention he's a rookie?!

As of today the Tigers sit at 16-11, just a couple games behind the Twins in the early AL Central race. It's been an up-and-down, back-and-forth season for the Tigers. There are a lot of statistics I could use to recap the season in a nutshell. But one stat seem to be the most telling.

8.14.

That's the average number of runners left on base per game, and it's the highest mark in the MLB. The Tigers have consistently put men on base, and consistently failed to bring them home. Often, with less than two outs.
As far as batting average and on-base percentage, the Tigers are near the top of the MLB. Total hits, extra-base hits, doubles, walks ... the Tigers rank in the top five in each of those categories. But when it comes to scoring runs, the Tigers are just sixth (still good), but they could easily be in first or second. A lot of the losses the Tigers have incurred this season have been close ones, and an extra one or two runs could be the difference between making the playoffs and falling short again.

As far as the WHY so many runners are being left on base, I have two thoughts.

Firstly, we've got a general inability to hit home runs. Cabrera has 5 and Ordonez has 4, but other than that Detroit had only 6 as a team, as of last week.

Of course, that was going to be my point, and then Inge wents nuts and hit 3 homers in 2 days, and then Laird, Sizemore and Boesch all hit their first homer of the season in the same game, and then Damon hit his first of the year a few days ago. So maybe the lack of HRs is not as major a concern as I thought? Or maybe it still is a problem, and this little flurry is just an outlier.

One thing is for sure: there's no lack of power. The Tigers rank first in the Majors with 74 doubles, and they're coming from all over the line-up. Detroit leads everybody with 449 fly balls. We can hit the ball hard and far. We just can't quite get it over the fence.

The main culprits are Damon and Jackson, who've got just 1 HR each. Carlos Guillen (who's injured, AGAIN) also has just one, and should hit a few more when he returns. Inge is doing okay with 3, but since all he does is strike out and hit homers, I hope we can count on another couple from him by the end of May. No one else is a threat, but it'd be nice to have an occasional homer from someone we don't expect.

The second reason why the Tigers aren't bringing runners off base?

To be blunt, because the bottom half of the line-up stinks. It just really honestly flat-out stinks.
Batters 1-4 - Jackson, Damon, Ordonez, and Cabrera - have each been excellent this season, and that's an understatement. Jackson is leading the Majors in batting average, hits, triples, and has more steals than the rest of the Tigers combined. I don't think you can ask for any more than that from a rookie. Damon just finished off a 15-game hit streak. Magglio is hitting about a thousand times better than he was last season. And all Cabrera is doing is leading the Majors in RBIs, as well as ranking in the top ten in both BA and OBP.

It's been a beautiful thing when the top of the order is up.

But batters 5-9 - Inge, Laird, Sizemore, Everett, and sometimes Raburn or Avila or Kelly - have all pretty much sucked. None of them are sniffing .300 or a .350 OBP, and their ability to turn base runners into double plays is unbelievable. The following is a hypothetical scenario, but I'm pretty sure it happens at least once a game ...

Mags walks. Cabrera doubles. Guys on second and third. No outs.

Inge strikes out.

Laird pops out.

Sizemore flies out.

Inning over, no runs.


It's been like that all season, and many of the 140+ hits from our top 4 hitters have gone to waste. What the Tigers need more than anything is some consistent production behind Cabrera. With Guillen hurt maybe it's too soon to rush to conclusions, but shouldn't Leyland at least considering tinkering with the line-up? Maybe make Santiago the lead-off man and let Jackson hit 5th?

When the August trade deadline comes a little bit closer, I think the Tigers will start saying "We're just one bat short," and hopefully make a move for a middle-of-the-order hitter. It'd be nice if they could find that bat soon though. Wait, didn't we send Clete Thomas to the Minors? Hmm...

For more detailed info on why the bottom of the order stinks, consider the following information ...

After going hitless in hit first 17 at-bats, catcher Gerald Laird is currently hitting a putrid .145, and that's actually better than his replacement, Alex Avila.

Promising rookie Scott Sizemore is off to a similarly stinky start, hitting just around .260 with nearly as many strike-outs as hits.

Shortstop Adam Everett has been beyond horrible; his .205 on-base percentage is the worst in the major leagues. The worst. The absolute worst. As in, no one is worse than him.
He also looks like an elf ...











And the one guy who was being counted on to provide consistent hitting off the bench has been brutal, hitting .220 with an amazing 10 hits and 17 strike-outs. I'm talking of course about Ryan Raburn.
The lone bright spot outside of the top 4 batters has been switch-hitting Ramon Santiago. He's been great, and is very close to earning an every-night spot in the line-up.

Another valuable hitter off the bench has been rookie outfielder Brennan Boesch, who has 5 doubles in just 30 at-bats and never met a first pitch he didn't want to swing at.
Why doesn't Leyland start making some aggressive moves to improve this offense? We've got the potential to score more runs than any team in the majors, why not maximize that potential?
Why not move Santiago to starting shortstop, and move Boesch into right field, and let Magglio hit DH? And then let Guillen take over for Sizemore at second. You could even move Inge to catcher to take Laird out of the line-up, and then slide Guillen over to third. You've got flexible fielders who can play a lot of different positions.

Yeah, you might give up a few more runs if you tinker with the fielding. You might have a few more errors. But I'd rather score runs than worry about fielding. Doesn't that just make too much sense. Playing defense and losing 2-4 isn't much fun. Why not score 8 runs a night and dominate? Bah.
So to recap, hitters 1-4 are awesome, while hitters 5-9 are crappy, except for Santiago.

I just realized I haven't even said anything about pitching ...

Verlander is a stud. He's off to a slow start, but he'll be fine. He's throwing about 110 pitches per start (which is high) and doing some freakish stuff like throwing 99 MPH fastballs in the 8th inning, like he did Sunday against the Twins. He's a monster, and while the slow start puts him way back for Cy Young contention, he's still our most important player.
Scherzer has progressively gotten worse since his first start, a 6 inning shutout. On Monday he gave up 10 runs. He's good for about 4 or 5 innings, but not much after that.
Porcello has just been awful, and that's part of the reason why the Tigers are just hovering around .500 all year. You've gotta get solid pitching from your #1 and #2 guys, and Porcello has been anything but solid. Worst ERA on the team, and he's given up 5 runs in every start while not making it past the 6th inning yet. I'm chalking it up to a sophomore slump and some serious nerves. I think he'll be fine.

Dontrelle Willis has been a huge surprise, as he's got the best ERA of any Tigers starter. The biggest reason why is that his control is vastlyimproved. In 2009 he averaged .85 walks per inning, and in 2008 it was a staggering 1.46 walks per inning! This year? Just 12 walks in 24 innings. As much as I was a doubter, I'm happy to see him playing well.

And last but not least, Jeremy Bonderman has been pretty much what I expected. Not great, but not awful. One win, one loss, a 5.7 ERA. He looks like he's finally recovered from the blood clot issue that kept him out of all of 2009. He's a pretty decent 6 out of 10.

And the best part, conveniently saved for last ... the Tigers Bullpen. Believe it or not, they have the best ERA of any bullpen in the MLB. Not only that, but they've pitched the most innings per game. It's uterly phenomenal. The Tigers' biggest weakness has become their biggest strength.
Joel Zumaya is one of the primary reasons. He has been absolutely lethal, giving the Tigers 15 innings and just two earned runs. And NO walks.

The only better ERA than Zumaya has been our closer Jose Valverde, also called the Big Potato to spanish speakers. He's given up 1 run in 13 innings, for an ERA of 0.71. Hmm, I wonder what Fernando Rodney's ERA is these days? (2.84!)

The rest of the bullpen has been highlighted by Phil Coke and Ryan Perry, who routinely give the Tigers one or two innings of shutout, no-hit pitching. Eddie Bonine has been excellent. Even Fu Te Ni has been unhittable, with 15 strike-outs in just 11 innings. The Tigers' bullpen averages an uncanny, unbelievably 1.53 ERA.

So to recap once again, Tigers hitting = good, but not great;
Tigers pitching = decent starters, great bullpen.

Add all that up, and you have a 16-11 record and are a few games behind the Twins. Just ... 135 more games to go ....
*sigh*

I miss football season.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

NFL Power Rankings

Here are the April 30th batch of power rankings.


1. Colts. Better all-around offense gives them the edge over New Orleans.
2. Saints. Best team in the NFC by a mile, but the madden curse could destroy them.
3. Chargers. My AFC super bowl pick.
4. Ravens. No team has a better combination of QB, RB and WR.
5. Patriots. Still got Brady and Belichick.
6. Jets. They will be the 'sexy' pick from now til September.
7. Packers. Expect lots of high scoring games this year.
8. Vikings. Will Favre be back?! Will Favre be back!!? AhhhhHHhhhhHHH!!
9. Eagles. I just buy into what they do year after year and think the nfc east has gotten worse.
10. Steelers. Still have an elite front 7 on D and the best defensive player in the league.
11. Falcons. I think they'll have a nice bounce-back year.
12. Dolphins. The addition of Marshall might make all the difference.
13. Cowboys. Romo has a glut of weapons to work with: 5 good WRs, 3 good RBs and 2 good TEs.

14. Bengals. They'll take a mild step backwards but still have a rock in Palmer.
15. Redskins. Mike Shanahan is one of the few actually really great coaches in the league.
16. Texans. Another brutally average season.
17. Jaguars. Ditto.

18. Giants. They seem to be deteriorating a little, especially on D.
19. 49ers. Could win the division at 7-9.
20. Seahawks. Ditto.
21. Cardinals. Ditto.
22. Titans. Can Chris Johnson carry them to the wildcard this year?
23. Bears. Still hate Cutler, but Peppers will help a lot.
24. Broncos. Let's see how little talent we can try to win with.
25. Panthers. All the makings of 6-10.
26. Browns. The best of the horrible teams, Delhomme at least has experience.
27. Chiefs. Let's see if Jamaal Charles can be a fantasy monster again.
28. Rams. At least they have Steven Jackson.
29. Lions. After this season I think we'll all realize that Calvin Johnson is no longer a stud.
30. Raiders. Welcome to hell Jason Campbell.

31. Bucs. You heard it here first -Gerald McCoy will be a bust.
32. Bills. CJ Spiller can't keep them from moving to Toronto.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ndamukong Suh and Jahvid Best, Plus my Thoughts on the NFL Draft and the Lord of the Douche

On Thursday, the Lions spent the #2 overall pick on DT Ndamukong Suh from Nebraska, and then traded up into the late first round to grab RB Jahvid Best from California with the 30th overall pick. Suh was considered a no-brainer; Best is considered high-risk, high-reward. After much research, here is everything you could ever want to know about these two new Lions.
NDAMUKONG SUH

Suh was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. His mother is from Jamaica, and his dad was a semi-pro soccer player for Cameroon. In the Ngema language, Ndamukong means "House of Spears."

Suh was brought up to be a soccer player, like his dad, and developed quick feet and explosiveness to go with his huge body. At 6'4" and 307 pounds, he has no choice but to play football, and was an absolute phenom in high school.
After a knee injury delayed Suh's freshmen season, he was redshirted and went on to play four full years of college ball at Nebraska, and became a star in his junior season, when he totaled 76 tackle (19 for loss), 7 sacks, and two interceptions - both returned for touchdowns. He was even more dominant his senior year, with 82 tackles (23 for loss), 12 sacks, 3 blocked kicks, 1 interceptions and 12 passes broken up. He was the MVP of the Big 12 Championship game (a loss) against Texas, with 12 tackles and 4 sacks, and became a national darling in what has been called "the single most dominant defensive performance in college football history."

Suh was a consensus All-American and won every award he could win: best D-lineman in the country, best defensive player in the country, etc. He finished fourth in Heisman voting, and was voted AP Player of the Year - the only defensive player to ever win that award. In short, Suh is considered one of the best prospects at defensive tackle ever.

And he's not just an amazing athlete. He's also a really smart guy. Ndamukong graduated from Nebraska with a degree in Architectural Engineering in 2009; he recently announced that he will be making a $2.6 million dollar donation to the university to create scholarship opportunities and expand the engineering program. It was the largest gift Nebraska has ever received from a former player.

At the NFL Combine, Suh absolutely astounded scouts with his blend of speed, power and explosiveness. He blew away Gerald McCoy in the bench press and the vertical jump, and they ran nearly identical 40 times. Many scouts said that McCoy displayed a "loosey-goosey attitude" at the Combine and didn't take the drills seriously, while Suh used the opportunity to answer any potential doubts about his ability. Suh's work ethic and constant motor are what Lions' scouts rave about more than anything.

According to former NFL defensive tackle and excellent radio host Mike Golic, what seperates Suh from other DT prospects is the way he uses his hands like a pro. According to Golic, Suh can shed blockers faster than most rookie DTs because he doesn't rely solely on his strength, he relies on superior technique and his knowledge of other player's tendencies. Even though he's usually a stronger and faster athlete, Suh still takes the time to study film and master the art of playing defensive tackle. That's what sets him apart and will make him an immediate impact player as a rookie.

The obvious strengths of Suh's game are his speed and his power, but he also possess great instincts to diagnose plays and locate the ball. The word "disruptive" is very commonly used to describe Suh's ability to get into the backfield and record tackles for loss. He also has unusual versatility for a DT, a trait that the Lions hope to use in different packages. He may even drop into short zone coverages from time to time on passing downs.

As far as weaknesses, there really aren't any. My only concern is how his mental state will hold up when the Lions are 3-12 and he's laying flat on his back watching some running back scamper toward the end zone. Will he be thinking "Maybe I'll fake an injury in a minute," or, will he be thinking, "Dammit, I'm gonna stop him on the next play."

We won't know that until the time comes. Time will tell. Let's hope he displays more mental toughness than Calvin Johnson.
On Detroit, Suh will be plugged into a defensive line-up that will look a whole lot different than the miserable 2008 and 2009 clubs. Ernie Sims is gone, Larry Foote is gone, and all the cornerbacks from a year ago are gone. Louis Delmas is the apparent heir to captainship. And former Titan Kyle VandenBosch is the star.
Julian Peterson remains at outside linebacker, and will be joined by either Jordan Dizon or Zach Follett on the other side. DeAndre Levy will take over the MLB spot in place of Larry Foote.

The secondary will have Delmas at safety and new acquisition Chris Houston (from the Falcons) at one cornerback spot. The other two spots are still wide open. Pacman Jones is a possibility. It could be rookie Amari Spievey. It could be any number of the scrubs currently on the Lions roster. I wouldn't count out Ramzee Robinson.

The defensive line has a chance to be a bright spot for the Lions, with 4 brand new starters. Corey Williams (from the Browns) joins Suh on the inside, and VandenBosch will be paired with either Cliff Avril or Jason Hunter on the other end. The D-line has decent depth as well, with Sammie Lee Hill, Andre Fluellen and Jared DeVries.

Adjusting to life without Sims and Foote won't be easy, but I'm pretty comfortable with Levy stepping into the starting line-up. Dizon I'm not too sure about, but a lot of pressure could be taken off the defense as a whole if Suh lives up to his enormous potential.

A defensive core of VandenBosch, Suh and Delmas makes the Lions a threat to actually be competitive on defense, if all 3 stay healthy. The main concern on defense is a lack of cornerbacks who can be left in single coverage (which is why I can't figure out why we haven't signed Pacman yet), but if the Lions can generate a pass rush from just the front 4, the cornerbacks won't be put in such difficult situations. There will be less need for blitzes. And on blitz packages, we might actually be able to reach the quarterback and force quick throws.

Suh should be able to win most one-on-one matchups and control his gaps, which will benefit the run defense as well as the pass defense. I can't wait to see him on the field.

JAHVID BEST

Drafted 30th overall by the Lions, Jahvid Best will hopefully be a major contributor to the Lions offense in 2010 and beyond. He has great speed and vision, but is not a power back or a great blocker. Scouts compare him to Chris Johnson, a one-cut speed back who isn't afraid to go between the tackles. He's obviously not as fast as Johnson, but he is really fast.
Best was born in California, and played college ball for California despite offers from Ohio State, Florida, Texas, Michigan, and just about every school in the country. In 2008 he led the Pac-Ten in rushing as a sophomore and became a college football star. He entered 2009 with Heisman hopes, and three games into the season he had 410 yards and 8 touchdowns. He was the talk of the NCAA and a Heisman favorite. Then in the 8th game of the season Best suffered a scary concussion that sidelined him for the rest of the year, including the bowl game.

He finished his career with a sickening rushing average of 7.3 yards per carry, and 35 career TDs. He declared for the NFL draft and has appeared 100% healthy since the Combine.

He was the fastest running back at the Combine with a 40 time of 4.35 seconds. In high school he was an All-State sprinter and one of the fastest dudes in the nation in both the 100m and the 200m. The Lions are lucky to have a running back with speed, since that's something we haven't had in at least 12 years.

The difficulty for Best will be having a chance to use that speed. His acceleration isn't great, and unless he can break into the open field, I'm not sure his explosiveness will be seen too often. The blocking is a major concern, as the Lions are stuck in some kind of weird flux where they can't decide if they are a zone-blocking team or not. Cherilus is a zone-blocking right tackle, and Kevin Smith is a zone-blocking RB, but Backus and Raiola are too big to move around, and to be successful in zone-blocking you need receivers who can block, and we don't have that. The new two tight-end set that the Lions plan to use (with Tony Scheffler and Pettigrew) will make the running game even more confusing. But hopefully will put more bodies in front of Best (or whoever is running the ball) and at least give ourselves a chance to move the chains and establish a running game that takes pressure off the quarterback.
Because ultimately, the single most important thing about the 2010 Lions season is making sure that Matt Stafford evolves into a competent quarterback. Protecting him with a franchise left tackle seems like it should be a priority for Lions' management, and I'm a little dissappointed that Backus still hasn't been replaced, but I digress. Bringing in Best, along with Scheffler and Burleson, is the Lions attempt at giving Stafford a chance to win. We are surrounding him with weapons and giving him few excuses if he fails.

That said, I don't think Burleson and Scheffler will have the effect we hope they will. Jim Schwartz says that our two tight-end set will "stretch the defense" and free up Calvin for more single coverage. Essentially, we are saying to opposing defenses: "Fear our slow white tight end, and leave our superstar in single coverage." I don't think they'll fall for it. And I still contend that Burleson (and his huge contract) will be on the injury list within two games.

But I'll try not to be a downer, at least until we're a few games into the season. For now, I'll say that I really think Best was a great pick. Kevin Smith will miss all of training camp, and at least the first few games of the season following reconstructive knee surgery. Personally, I won't miss anything about Smith - his complete lack of speed, his complete lack of power, his overused spin move, and the fact that he hasn't broken a tackle once since joining the Lions.
I like Maurice Morris a decent amount and think he'll be the starting RB on opening day, but I'm sure Best will see the field early and often. When Smith does return, it will most likely be as a third down back; his strength is catching passes out of the backfield. He'll be very unhappy with this role, and won't be on the team in 2011. Smith is a huge ego-maniac and considers himself a lot better than he really is. Best seems like a pretty humble guy from the interviews I've seen, and I think he'll be a much better fit for the Lions than Smith was.

But once again, the pick of Jahvid Best was all about Matthew Stafford and his development. If Best struggles, Stafford will struggle, and the reverse is true. Neither guy will dominate without some help, at least not this early in their careers. But if Stafford can learn to make good quick decisions and throw accurately, then Best will be free to break some big plays open. And if Best shows the explosiveness that the Lions hope he will, Stafford will be able to find Calvin in single coverage on a play-action rollout and that means six points more often than not. How Best fares, Stafford will fare. Their fates are linked.

Further Thoughts on the Draft

In the third round, the Lions picked a cornerback named Amari Spievey. (pronounced Spih-Vay.) He went to Iowa, and is considered a highly physical CB with good tackling ability. The scouting report says he has "very long arms" and is great at jamming wide receivers at the line; the report also says that his man-to-man coverage skills are "questionable" and that he struggles against smaller, faster receivers. In a division with Percy Harvin, Devin Hester, and Greg Jennings, I'm pretty sure Spievey will be beat for his share of deep touchdowns this year.

He will have a fairly good chance to start from day 1, opposite Chris Houston. He really doesn't have much competition as of yet. How much the Lions like Spievey will determine whether or not they pursue Pacman.

In the fourth round, Detroit finally got a left tackle - Jason Fox from Miami. He's big (6'7'', 303 lbs.) but considered a little skinny to play in the NFL . He's got to bulk up by about 30 pounds without losing any speed. Of course, Fox has a history of knee problems, but do the Lions ever draft anyone who doesn't have knee problems?

Fox has a slim chance of starting this season, but if he does it would probably be at right guard, our weakest position on the line. They (they being the Lions' management) say he is versatile enough to play guard. I feel like they would say that about anyone. Is he good enough to play guard? Probably not. But he's only going to start ahead of Backus if Backus gets hurt. But if Fox progresses this season and bulks up and learns the NFL game, he just might be our starting LT in a season or two. Seems like a 'project pick' to me.

On a totally unrelated note, I have a random rant about the last name 'Fox.' This is something I've thought about before, and it bothers me. There are 3 very famous actors/actresses with the last name Fox: Megan, Michael J, and Jamie. Doesn't that seem like an inproportionally large amount of 'Foxes' in Hollywood? How many actors named Smith or Johnson are there? None? I'm not suggesting that all 3 of these folks changed their names, but I'm pretty sure at least one or two of them did.

In the seventh round, the Lions had 3 picks. One was traded to the Eagles for a 6th rounder in 2011. The other two were defensive end Willie Young from NC State (small but quick) and wide receiver Tim Toone from Weber State (possible special teams player). I wish they would have gone for an outside linebacker or some depth on the O-line, but 7th round picks don't really matter. Onto the biggest story from the NFL draft ...

Tim Tebow. He should have been maybe a 4th or 5th round pick, and instead the Broncos traded UP (so stupid!) to get him with the 25th overall pick, ahead of Clausen and McCoy. They did this for one reason, and one reason only. Because Josh McDaniels (Denver's coach) is the biggest jackass in the NFL. He is absolutely obsessed with himself, and loves to be in the spotlight. He couldn't share the attention with Jay Cutler, so he traded him. He couldn't handle Brandon Marshall's ego, so he traded him. I know those guys are both a pain in the ass, but part of being a coach is putting your ego aside and dealing with a bunch of overpaid babies as long as they have talent on the field. McDaniels is probably the only coach in the NFL with an ego that overshadows any of his players.

Why did he draft Tim Tebow? Because other than the words "Tim Tebow," you know what were the two most commonly said words on ESPN on Thursday night? "Josh" and "McDaniels." He did it so that people would talk about him. Interview him. Ask him "Why did you do it?" So he could babble about Tebow's character and leadership and brag about how he wanted to take a chance on a proven champion. Blah blah blah, he did it for the attention. It was a a horrid pick! Tebow doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of living up to a first-round quarterback in the NFL.

I don't have anything against Tebow. He's a great guy, and in 3 years when he's out of the NFL, I'm sure he'll take his money and make a real positive difference around the world. He's a great guy, and it's not his fault he was drafted four rounds too early. I blame McDaniels, I hate the way he traded down over and over so people would compare him even more to Bill Belichick than they already do (because they both wear sweatshirts) and then he made the ultimate "Look at me" pick. It pissed me off, because Jacksonville wanted Tebow, and they were going to take him in the second round (still too early) because their fans needed something to get excited about and what better than the home-town kid. It would have been a great story in Jacksonville; in Denver, it's just a media circus for the sake of McDaniels' fame. He's got no chance of being a good NFL quarterback. No chance.

If all you want is a nice guy in the lockerroom, why not spend your first overall pick on David Archuletta or Bob Barker or Jerry Seinfeld. I'm sure they would all be great influences! Or if you just want someone with leadership, I think John McCain was still on the board in the first round. You could have picked the Maverick! It's ridiculous! It's utterly absurd. I can't believe I'm saying this, but McDaniels' pick of Tebow in the first round has made Denver my new least favorite team in the NFL, yes ever more detestable than the Pittsburgh Stellers. I know, I can't believe it either. Fortunately, they don't play each other this year, so I can cheer spitefully against both teams in 32 games.

Other thoughts from the draft ... Jimmy Clausen was passed on by Buffalo TWICE (which shocks me a lot) and finally taken by Carolina, where he'll learn the ropes from ... Matt Moore? If Clausen can get on the field, behind one of the NFL's best offensive lines and with two good running backs, he could make a lot of teams regret passing on him.

Colt McCoy goes to Cleveland, where Mike Holmgren says he "will not play in 2010." Uh, okay, then why did you draft him?

Buffalo landed C.J. Spiller, who has to run behind a hideous offensive line. The hundreds of Bills fans that still exist have already begun a "Which game will Spiller get hurt?" contest. My guess, let's go with week 5.

This year's rookie of the year is going to be Ryan Matthews, who San Diego traded up to 12 and took to replace LT as the luckiest running back in the league. Great QB, great O-line, great receivers, great fullback. He'll get 1200 yards and 9 TDs and win ROY while Sproles still racks up 1000 all-purpose yards and 8 TDs. Oh by the way, San Diego is my early pick to win the Super Bowl. Or maybe lose the Super Bowl to Minnesota.

Sam Bradford went #1 overall to the Rams, you may have heard. Apparently their #2 overall pick from last year, Jason Smith, is a flop who can't block anybody. Crazy Keith tells me he didn't even start last season. So that doesn't bode well for Bradford's chances. Neither does the Rams' awful receving corps, or their awful defenses. BUT, they have two great assets: Steven Jackson, and Steve Spagnuolo, plus they play in the worst division in the NFL, so 5 wins is not going to be out of the question. Bradford will start from week 1.

Seattle is considered to have had the best draft, getting Russell Okung and Earl Thomas in the first round, both immediate impact players. They also got Notre Dames' Golden Tate to help the receiving corps, which now gives them 4 good possession receivers and no good big-play receivers. Oh, and they traded for Fat LenDale White and Leon Washington, so their running game just went from an F to a D. Pete Carroll is getting way too much attention for not yet having done anything, except acquite as many Pac-10 guys as humanly possible. However, Seattle's still got a great chance to win the NFC West, where Matt Hasslebeck is the best quarterback. Yikes.

The biggest story of the draft was probably Jason Campbell being traded to Oakland for basically nothing. So now, if McNabb gets hurt (which he probably will), that means guess who is the Redskins quarterback. Yeah, Rex Grossman.

And in Oakland, Campbell will easily win the starting job and be exactly what he was in Washington - a brutally average quarterback. But in Oakland, that's a huge improvement, and they should be able to win 5 or 6 games without too much self-embarassment.

Some old players who used to be really good have been cut this week and are now free agents, including Alan Faneca (still one of the best guards in the league), Adalius Thomas (meh) and John Henderson (DT from Jacksonville). I hope the Lions at least look at Faneca.

Before I end this extremely long football blog, I'd like to offer my abbreviated thoughts on Rapist Roethlisberger, and how his six game suspension alters the NFL more than people realize. By raping some 20 year old girl in Georgia, Ben basically gave the Baltimore Ravens a free pass to the playoffs.

The Steelers will be 3-3, if their lucky, with Charlie Batch at the helm, and even once Ben comes back they're going to have to work for wins considering they still can't run the ball and they still don't have much of a secondary. If Polamalu is back at 100%, and the defense plays as it should, they'll probably finish around 9-7 when all is said and done. Not bad.

But the Ravens are totally retooled with Anquan Boldin, and if Ray Rice plays at 80% of the level he played at last year, Baltimore is a 12 win team. Boldin is the missing piece. No doubt about it. Flacco will be a changed quarterback now that he has a legitimate weapon to work with. Baltimore will win the AFC North unchallenged (Cincinnati will fall back into 6-7 win territory) and the Steelers will have to fight for a wildcard spot.

In my estimation, the single biggest off-season acquisition was Boldin to Baltimore, and the single biggest story of the off-season - Ben's suspension - benefits no team more than Baltimore (who Pittsburgh plays in week 4).

As far as Roethlisberger's punishment, I think it's fair. Any more than 6 games would have been a little harsh considering he wasn't technically convicted. Although based on the fact that he hasn't publicly expressed any outrage over the allegations, I think it's fairly obvious to say that he is guilty. I mean, if I was accused of rape and I really was innocent, I'd be all over the news telling anyone that would listen that I was innocent. If you remember, that's what Kobe did. Ben, clearly, is guilty, and living proof that if you have enough money you are above the law.

If you thought Tiger Woods' apology was phony and contrived, at least he got up in front of the camera and talked. Sure he read from a cue card and showed no emotion; at least he made a fool of himself in front of millions of people and took the crap he deserved. He owned up to his sins. I respect that.

Ben released his 'apology' through a written statement, which I'm 99% sure he didn't write, and 50% sure he didn't even read. He promised to be a better man and a role model and concluded it with the clincher: 'God bless.' Oh give me a damn break! You rape two girls and now you have the audacity to call yourself a role model? Spare me the religious overtones! Spare me the sudden life-change! That's just pure, disgusting entitlement to think you can get away that easy. At least Tiger stood up and said, "Yes I am scum. Look at me. I am disgusting scum." Ben thinks he's beyond that, he thinks all he has to do is pay someone to write a nice fake apology and he'll be good to go. But whether he admits it or not, the entire country already knows what a douche he is. If you aren't convinced, look at this picture and stand in awe ... at the Lord of the Douche.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Last Recruit

On the surface this episode wasn't overwhelmingly great, but it did advance a lot of plot-lines and help set-up an epic confrontation in the next few weeks.


To recap: Jack-tribe merged with Flocke-tribe, Widmore sent his girl to ask for Desmond back, and Flocke politely refused. Sawyer led all the candidates+frank to the sailboat to sneak over to Hydra island, and idiot Claire tagged along. Jack jumped ship and went back to be with Flocke, then almost died but didn't. Then Jin and Sun were reunited (!!!) but that was short-lived as Widmore's crew became angry for no apparent reason. Then Flocke said to Jack "you're with me now."


Oh, and in the flash-sideways, Jack met Claire thanks to Desmond, Ilana was a layer, Sawyer flirted with Kate and arrested Sayid while Sun and Locke were taken to the hospital, where Sun creepily recognized Locke as "him." (?) Jack started to operate on Locke and may have experienced the beginnings of his "wake-up" experience.


A few thoughts ...


-Too much Claire.
(she is SOOO horrible at acting)

-Too much Kate.
(her character just sucks)


-The ending was serious lacking a decent cliff-hanger


-I liked the way the flash-sideways didn't focus on just one character, but moved all the plots steadily along. I still don't like the flash-sideways, but I have this feeling that when LOST ends, we're all going to want to re-watch the season 6 because then we'll really understand what the flash-sidewayses are. It's got something to do with 'making a deal' with Flocke.


-Did Sayid really kill Desmond? (Duh. Of course he didn't.)


-Jack is "the last recruit." Although, not really, because he only jumped off the boat to stop Flocke.


-Sun and Jin reunited, and you would sure think they would have been slightly more excited to see one another. I'm thinking about how I would react if I couldn't see Alie for 3 years and spent the entire team looking for her, and then saw her, on a beautiful tropical island standing in the water no less ... I'm fairly sure I would do a lot more than run up to her and hug her and say I love you. I'm thinking more like ... scream and jump up and down and cry hysterically and completely hyperventalate and breathe really heavily and run around and scream some more and tackle her to the ground ... and if I were Sawyer, and I spent the past 3 years hanging out with Jin every day and was constantly hearing about how much he missed Sun, I think I would have been a whole lot more excited. I know Sawyer has a heart of stone, but seriously, couldn't he have smiled or gotten a little more involved in the moment.


I don't blame the actors, I blame the writers. This scene should have lasted 10 minutes and involved everybody. A giant group hug. This could have been the single most emotional scene in LOST history, maybe television history, and instead it probably wasn't even the most emotional scene in this episode.

Other than that, really not much to say about this episode. No new stuff was really introduced at all, except that Jack is apparently on Flocke's side now, which I'm sure isn't really the case.

Flocke answered the question about being Christian Shepherd, which is interesting but I was already pretty sure that was the case.

I would describe this as a definite "set-up" episode, which means there's a 98% chance that next week is going to be flipping awesome.

My guesses for next week (entitled The Candidate):
-Widmore dies, and the battle shifts from Widmore vs. Flocke to Losties vs. Flocke
-Claire dies, no one cares
-Frank dies, even less people care
-Sawyer dies, everyone sobs
-Zombie Sayid dies when Flocke realizes Des is still alive
-Sun and/or Jin die(s)
-The plane and/or sub blows up
-Miles, Richard and/or Ben return, at least one of them dies

So yeah, I am anticipating a huge week of action and death. And I think the flash-sideways will be pretty awesome too, with some wake-up moments taking place and possibly Juliet.

NFL Draft is tonight. I better start practicing the spelling of 'Ndamukong.'