Tuesday, May 26, 2009

NFL Power Rankings 2009 (May edition)

well the main reason i created this blog just now was that i spent the last hour writing up my NFL Power Rankings for 2009. i saw a similar post on and thought it was crap, so i wrote my own. this is what i think as of now, and is subject to change. enjoy. and if you don't like football or sports, don't give up completely because i might write some stuff that's not about sports. i have a few ideas. without further ado ...

2009 NFL Power Rankings

1. Pittsburgh Steelers – Same offense, same defense, same coaches, and a division that seems to keep getting worse. 12 wins is automatic.

2. New England Patriots – I wanted to put them #1 but I have to show due respect to the Super Bowl champs. But, last time Tom Brady was healthy they went 16-0. Just sayin.

3. Philadelphia Eagles – Deepest and most balanced team in the NFL; they have studs all over the field. With DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, McNabb is going to be scary good this year.

4. San Diego Chargers – Last year the AFC West was a joke and the Chargers won it with 8-8. But that was without their best overall player, Shawn Merriman. He will be back with a vengeance, and so will the Bolts. The AFC West is theirs for the taking.

5. Washington Redskins –I’m serious. When you add the best defensive player in the NFL (that would be Albert Haynesworth) to an already good defense, you have to expect good things. Offensively they will be good enough. They are 2009’s Tennessee.

6. New Orleans Saints – Their weak-link defense made some solid improvements, and they have the best quarterback in the NFC by a mile. Drew Brees is just too good not to make the playoffs this year.

7. Indianapolis Colts – Losing Tony Dungy is sad for them, but they still have Peyton Manning throwing to Wayne, Clark, and Gonzalez. They won’t have to worry about the Titans stealing the division this year.

8. Minnesota Vikings – Whether or not they get Brett Favre, I still have them here. Best RB in the NFL plus the best run-stopping defense - that’s a good combination to have. It’s like having both the Americas in Risk.

9. New York Giants – They’re still really good, but I thinking losing Plaxico will hurt Eli more than most people think. Losing Derrick Ward is a sneaky problem for them too.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars – I think they have a comeback year and might challenge the Colts for the AFC South.

11. Baltimore Ravens – Don’t think they are all that good, but their defense should be good enough to give them at least 8 wins, especially with the craptastic Browns and Bengals in the division.

12. Atlanta Falcons – The offense almost looks to good to be true. That usually means it is. Don’t waste the second overall fantasy pick on Michael Turner no matter how many experts tell you to!

13. San Francisco 49ers – Nobody said my rankings had to be conventional. Here’s my rationale: Shaun Hill is 7-3 as a starter, now he has Michael Crabtree, and the defense is still anchored by the awesome Patrick Willis, and I love Singletary as their coach. That’s four things to like. I give you your NFC West division winners.

14. Buffalo Bills – I believe they have an outside shot at being the big surprise team this year. TO helps, but mostly I think they get it done on defense.

15. Dallas Cowboys – The talent is there, but coaching, leadership, and focus are not. When Roy Williams is your #1 receiver it usually means you lose more than you win. Also I refuse to believe in anyone who dates Jessica Simpson.

16. Chicago Bears – Cutler is the big story obviously, but the Bears are still all about tough defense and Devin Hester.

17. Seattle Seahawks – Hasslebeck is healthy, Aaron Curry is a maniac, and I’m really liking their new identity without Mike “Monterey Jack” Holmgren.

18. Carolina Panthers – They will definitely not win 12 games again, but they might finish with a winning record.

19. Miami Dolphins – With apologies to the great Bill Parcells, the Fish aren’t making the playoffs again. Not behind noodle-arm Chad Pennington. But Jake Long is good enough to single handedly win them 6 games.

20. Green Bay Packers – Rodgers to Jennings is the most underrated passing combination in the NFL.

21. Houston Texans – Every year people predict them to break out. Not going to happen again this year, but they will keep on getting close. 8-8 again probably.

22. Arizona Cardinals – Guess how many teams in the last ten years lost the super bowl and then had a winning record the following year. Only two. With no running game, no Boldin and a 50 year old quarterback, Arizona’s not going to do it.

23. Kansas City Chiefs – I’m almost positive that they beat Denver out for second in the AFC West. I like Cassel to Bowe, I like the young core of studs they have on defense, and I have an interesting theory: when a horrible team is defined by the suffering of their one single star player for a really long time, like KC was with Tony Gonzalez, and then they let that guy go to a contender because they hope he can win a title, the rest of the team experiences some kind of liberation and starts to click and they end up doing better than they ever did with the guy. I feel like this happens all the time.

24. New York Jets – Lots of studs and lots of bozos mixed together with an iffy quarterback situation. I’m not optimistic.

25. Denver Broncos – I want to believe in Kyle Orton and the new coach Josh McDaniels, but it seems that when coaches come from New England they expected to be all innovative and brilliant, but then they fail miserably (see Weis, Crennel, Mangini).

26. Detroit Lions – To make it short and sweet: the defense is actually going to be competitive for the first time in a long time, the offense will show flashes of brilliance but mostly just punt, and Calvin Johnson is the best athlete in the NFL. And we have a competent coach now! I think …

27. St. Louis Rams – Don’t underestimate the impact that Jason Smith has a rookie. If Bulger and Jackson stay healthy, I don’t see any reason these guys don’t go for at least 6 wins.

28. Tennessee Titans –There’s a chance they reverse their record from 13-3 to 3-13. They lost their best player and their defensive coach. They have no receivers, and now their quarterback is going to be Vince Young. What is there to like about them?

29. Oakland Raiders – I know they are terrible, particularly JaMarcus Russell and all those receivers and pretty much everyone else on their team, but they have the best cornerback in the entire NFL, so I don’t want to make them too low.

30. Cleveland Browns -
31. Cincinnati Bengals -
I could be way off here about Cincy since Carson Palmer is really good when healthy, but their defense is still awful and Chad Johnson is a cancer equal to at least 3.5 losses a year. Mostly I just want to illustrate how bad the AFC North is.

32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers –They finished 9-7 last year somehow with very little talent. Then they axed Jon Gruden, released Derrick Brooks, and their legendary defensive coordinator went to the NCAA. That’s where they should go too. I hate them this year.

so there you go.

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