Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A Top 10 List

I've decided to broaden my horizons and write about more stuff than just football. Especially because it's week 16 already and in 2 months I won't know what to write about. So here is a list of the 10 movies I've seen the most times, in my estimation. Not sure why ... just something I've thought about before. I found myself surprised by the results.

10. The Fugitive & Air Force One (tie)
Harrison Ford basically plays the same character in these two movies. He walks, talks, and grimaces in exactly the same way. Both movies have laughably implausible plots and weak supporting acting. Both movies are way over-the-top and feature vengeful one-liners through gritted teeth (Get off my plane; You missed your stop). Basically, these are the exact same movie. And for some sick, inexplicable reason, I love them both. Estimated views: 11

9. Happy Gilmore
From 1996 to 2003, Adam Sandler basically made the same movie 10 times, and it got progressively less funny each time. He always has a five-letter name which ends in 'Y' (Happy, Billy, Robby, Bobby, Sonny, Nicky, Barry, Davey, Henry) and often dates a girl who's initials are 'V.V.' (Virginia Venit, Vicki Vallencourt, Valerie Veran, Veroncia Vaughn). Then in 2004 he started attempting halfway serious movies, such as Spanglish and The Longest Yard, which were terrible. After a rare gem with Reign Over Me (a surprisingly brilliant film), Sandler fell back into the mold with garbage films such as Chuck & Larry and The Zohan. His career can basically be summarized with the phrase: "Make as much money as you can, and don't worry about quality." Anyway, the reason I brought it up is because Happy Gilmore, Sandler's first major success, was the origin from which all the crappy films spawned. And it was brilliant. It's a rare movie that gets funnier each time, and is acted with such perfect comedic timing and expression that it has become timeless. I never get tired of Happy Gilmore. Estimated views: 13

8. The Patriot & Braveheart (tie)
I can't stand Mel Gibson, but I loved these movies before I found out what a psychopath he is. The more you watch these two movies, the more you realize how nearly identical they are - the rise from reluctant family man to vengeful warrior to fearless leader to ultimately, freedom. Both movies have awesome battle scenes where Mel's troop appears to be outnumbered but has secret friends hiding in ambush; both movies have truly atrocious villains; both movies have the signature Mel Gibson Inspirational Battle Speech; both movies have gut-sinking moments of despair (when Gabriel is killed by the British jerk; when Robert the Bruce betrays Wallace), and both movies, of course, have FREEEEEDOOMMMMMMMM.
Estimated views: 14 each

7. Dumb and Dumber
Perfect blend of subtlety and stupidity. Jim Carrey at his absolute best. Estimated views: 17

6. Prefontaine
I used to watch this about 5 times a year during high school. Maybe the most underrated sports movie of all time. A great story. Estimated views: 19.

5. Zoolander
Inflated on this list because once during a game of Risk I watched it 3 times in a row. A very underrated comedy which gets funnier every time you watch it, similar to Happy Gilmore. Ben Stiller's only truly hilarious performance. I contend that he was in fact NOT funny in Meet the Parents (or anything else), but instead was carried by Owen Wilson and Robert DeNiro. But in Zoolander, he's positively perfect. Estimated views: 20

4. Napoleon Dynamite
Also inflated because I once watched it 5 times in one day during J-Term at Cornerstone. My friend Curt and I basically studied this movie and only quote the obscure lines that people don't remember. Such as "Why are you so sweaty?" or "Do the chickens have large talons?" Estimated views - 22

3. Tommy Boy
Still the funniest movie I've ever seen and probably always will be. The only movie that I can quote from start to finish. Estimated views - 25

2. Fight Club & Boondock Saints (Tie)
The two movies which define my college experience. Testosterone, humor, guns, lots of swearing, and a profundity which you wouldn't expect. Estimated views - 26 each.

1. I Heart Huckabees
For a while, this was the only movie I owned. I watched it probably 10 times during the summer of 2007. I love the writing of this movie, and literally catch something new every time I see it. Brilliant script; brilliant performances by Dustin Hoffman and Mark Wahlberg. Just a really, really, smartly-made movie. Estimated times I've seen it - 27.

Honorable Mention:

1. American History X
I've seen it a lot, probably 6 or 7 times, but it's a little hard to watch because of the curb scene and the prison scene. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. Edward Norton gives arguably a top 10 acting performance in movie history.

2. Green Street Hooligans
Another prototypical college movie. This is basically Fight Club minus the nihilism, plus British soccer gangs. Elijah Wood is somehow likeable and super annoying at the same time.

3. Brick
I think I've seen it 7 or 8 times, and I hope that one day it surpasses Fugitive/Air Force One on the top 10 list. A real Makes You Think movie, and a phenomenal acting job by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Very interesting. Not for the faint of heart, or the easily distracted.

So there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. Peace out and Merry Christmas.


  1. I believe that night still remains the only time I've ever actually played Risk. Ah, college.

    A splendid list, and an idea I wish I had thought of first.

    My Mini List:

    Miracle: A great hockey movie. Still the only movie that had me stand up and cheer in a movie theater. Seen it maybe 10 times.

    Signs: Probably watched this 15 times or so. Love it.

    The Witches: a dumb 90's kid movie. The only reason this is so high (probably 18 times) is because there was about two summers where it was always on TV at my grandparents house on Saturday mornings, so I watched it a ton.

    Jaws: Honestly, my favorite movie of all time. I would guess the times I've watched this movie to be in the high twenties.

    Honorable Mention: I've probably seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy 6 or 7 times, which blows everything else out of the water, considering each time is 9-12 hours long.

  2. i've only seen Jaws once. it was awesome. but really scary. i can't imagine watching it 20 times! same with signs. way too scary for me.
    i'm pretty easily creeped out by movies.