Thursday, July 5, 2012

NFL Power Rankings: Condensed Bottom 20

Apparently I'm doing a crappy job of getting these NFL Power Rankings done.  Don't know why it's taking me a month... Probably because I'm writing 1,000 words per team. So here's my best effort at a condensed overview of the bottom 20 teams.  

32. Oakland – They completely lack talent across the board: Carson Palmer stinks, the receivers stink, the O-line stinks, the linebackers stink, and they might have the worst secondary in the NFL.  Other than that, they’re in great shape!

31. Seattle – I don’t like Pete Carroll or his drafting style, I don’t believe in Matt Flynn or his 6-TD fluke against Detroit, and I really don’t like giving a big contract to a proven lazy bum like Marshawn Lynch. Also, they lack a pass rush, a secondary, and an offensive line.

30. Jacksonville – Nice defense. Good running game. But Blaine Gabbert is the worst quarterback in the NFL, which makes them a hopeless cause.

29. Cleveland – A couple studs, but an otherwise hideous roster, and now a rookie QB.

28. Miami – Really good defense. Reaaaaly bad offense, led by rookie Ryan Tannehill, who I think will challenge Gabbert for Worst QB status.

27. St. Louis – Probably the worst team in 2011, but they had a good offseason, which included Jeff Fisher.  And Sam Bradford doesn’t seem like he'll be a bust.

26. Minnesota – See #29, Cleveland: "A couple studs, but an otherwise hideous roster, and a rookie second year QB."

25. Washington – Can’t wait to watch Robert Griffin and see if he can prove me wrong. To me, he looks like a Bubble-Screen-Throwing version of Denard Robinson. 

24. Indianapolis – On the other hand, I really like that Luck guy.

23. Tennessee – A pretty well-built team. Excellent O-line, and Chris Johnson has potential to be unstoppable. But the defense was already bad, and lost its best player. But, I do kinda like Jake Locker.

22. Tampa Bay – Big offseason, with two studs added to the offense – Carl Nicks and Vincent Jackson, and one potential stud added to the defense - Mark Barron. Brutal division though.

21. Arizona – Better defense than you realize. Love Patrick Peterson. But an awful offense outside of Fitzgerald. 

20. Kansas City – Good defense, good offseason, great running game. But dismal passing attack, and Dwayne Bowe’s holdout seems imminent.

19. San Diego – Steadily falling from a great overall team to just a good QB stuck on an otherwise lousy team.

18. Chicago – Cutler made a jump last year from terrible to serviceable, and Mike Martz is finally gone, which should cut the number of sacks in half. Forte’s a stud, and Brandon Marshall is bonkers but really good. The defense is a little bit overrated, but Julius Peppers is dominant. They worry me, but they don't scare me. 

17. Cincinnati – Pretty good D, but the absence of Leon Hall looms large. Not a huge fan of Andy Dalton, but AJ Green may be the second best receiver in the NFL as soon as this year.

16. Carolina – Kind of a chic pick, but for good reason. Cam Newton was spectacular last year, the backfield is stacked with talent, and the O line is very good. They should be able to lead the NFC in rushing yards. Also, the defense (ranked 28th last year) gets their best player, MLB Jon Beason, back from injury, alongside rookie Luke Kuechly.  Still a bad secondary and an iffy pass rush.

15. New York Jets – The good news: this could be Rex Ryan’s last year if they miss the playoffs. The bad news: Rex is going to be insufferable this year with his Tebow antics. Wouldn’t be surprised to see Tebow as the long-snapper if it means Rex’s name is in the news.

14. Philadelphia – Obviously loaded on defense since last offseason brought them Asomugha, Rogers-Cromartie, and Babin. After being completely unable to stop the run, they brought in former Pro Bowl linebacker DeMecco Ryans, which will be brilliant if he stays healthy, and rookie DT Fletcher Cox. But the offense was dealt a fatal blow when All Pro left tackle Jason Peters was lost for the season. His absence will do damage to both Vick and McCoy’s seasons. With a healthy Peters, they’d easily rank in the top 10.

13. Atlanta – With Michael Turner and Roddy White showing signs of age, this is a pressure year for Matt Ryan and Julio Jones. They have to carry the offense. Fortunately, the Falcons addressed a huge need on the offensive line with Peter Konz, a top 20 prospect, at pick #55, their only pick in the first 90 selections. Defensively, they lost a great linebacker in Curtis Lofton, who signed with the divisional rival Saints. They replaced him with Lofa Tatupa; a downgrade, but not by too much. They also traded for Asante Samuel, which gives them a trio of solid cornerbacks. OLB Sean Weatherspoon is the guy to watch; he’ll likely earn his first of many Pro Bowl selections this coming year.  The pass rush is still uncertain; John Abraham is now 34 years old and Ray Edwards responded to his $30 million contract with a whopping 3 sacks. Also, there’s still the issue of Matt Ryan not being able to win road games. 

Top 12 to come soon. 


  1. Here's my prediction of your top 12:

    12. Buffalo - the flyer of your list by far.
    11. Denver - You will be too excited by Peyton and forget they are retooling an offense built for Tebow or Orton.
    10. Detroit has to go here. You want to give them respect, but I don't think you jump them over any of the other teams.
    09. New York Giants - you've never been enamored with Eli. I think you recognize they will probably regress this year. Detroit could leapfrog these guys I suppose.
    08. New Orleans Saints - I think you want to drop them further, but they still have Drew Brees, so it's hard to argue.
    07. Houston - Good team in a crappy division will inflate their ranking.
    06. Pittsburgh - you want any chance to hate Pittsburgh, but you still respect them. To quote a great movie "I want you to konw that deep down, in all of my heart, I hate you. But goddamn do I respect you."
    5. San Francisco - Great team in a crappy division. I dont think you see them over any of the big boys.
    4. Baltimore - even though you hate Joe Flacco.
    3. Dallas - You're a closet Tony Romo fanboy.
    2. Green Bay - Great team, and you do still sort of like them from the Brett Favre years. Also, you wish you had Clay Matthew's hair.
    1. New England - you love these guys maybe as much as Crazy does, and you probably are in love with the moves the made this offseason.

    I disagree with a few - I like Philly and Seattle (ugh, I just typed that) more than you do, and don't love Dallas or Buffalo as much.

  2. i'm so relieved i finally got a comment after all that hard work. i think i might copy paste your top 12 just to reward you for commenting.

    but in all seriousness, i did love buffalo's offseason, i am too excited about peyton, i do hate/respect pittsburgh, and on the flip side, i dont love tony romo that much - not top 3 - also, detroit is at least 2 spots higher than you think, and new england did have a phenomenal offseason, highlighted by drafting the guy i wanted detroit to take (hightower). he's going to be such a stud it wont even be funny.